you may notice a small crow appear on some of our candles over time.

it isn’t random. it’s subtle on purpose — a quiet symbol we include with care, often paired with a short message.

if you’ve found your way here, this is where that meaning lives.

to me, the crow became symbolic after my mom passed — bear with me, there’s a message.

she was the kind of woman who didn’t give a fuck. unapologetically herself. a quality i don’t think i’ve become a pro at… yet lol.

when i was growing up, we argued constantly. we would literally fight over clothes. it wasn’t until i moved out that we became truly close. after that, we talked every single day. she was my best friend.

even when the “friends” i had in real life never really worked out — when it always felt like they had other, better people to be with — she was there. i didn’t let many people in, and when i did… maybe it’s me, idk.

but before she passed, there were crows. and not just one. it was kind of weird.

and after, there were butterflies everywhere. also weird. and comforting.

and maybe i made it up in my head — but it still feels funny in her own phaedra way — that one of her favorite bands was shinedown, and at her final chapter, the two things that showed up were crows and butterflies. later, my stepdad said, “you know shinedown has a song called the crow & the butterfly.” weird. continued to play it on repeat for the next six months — don’t judge me.

she may not have thought she was the perfect mom — who is — but she was the best to me. i miss her so much. every single day.

every day i want to text her something silly. or aggravating. or tell her about the sweet things the kids do. every fall, i want to ask her again how to make phaedra’s famous chili. but thanks to technology, i can search my texts and find where she butthole-ly replied “google it” and then gave it to me anyway — and i still haven’t written it down yet.

now, when i see a crow, i see her in the moments when i need strength.
and when i see butterflies, i know it’s time to slow down.

i hear her voice in my head saying, “i love you too, baby,” and i pray so hard it never goes away.

so if you’ve made it this far, and you’re in a moment where you need strength, let this little hidden crow message remind you how far you’ve already come. it might not be where you thought you’d be by now — but look at how much you’ve made it through.

life can be hard, man — but it’s also so beautiful.

you are seen.
you are loved.
even when you think you’re alone.

if you’re here reading this, i’m glad you found this secret message.

and if one day you find a small crow waiting on your candle, now you’ll know why.